I've been waxing since I was a teenager. Growing up in the modern world you soon learn that our relationship with body hair is contradictory. In winter it keeps us warm but having smooth silky body-parts is synonymous with being attractive. I'd love to say my attitude to body-hair hasn't been formed by a culture that … Continue reading You have a lovely vagina
Tindermares
Tinder has got to be one of the most talked about apps of the last 4 years, at least within my friendship circle. Before we start discussing the hilarity of Tinder as a dating app, I must disclose that I have never downloaded it, despite drunkenly swiping for friends on numerous occasions. (I'm a modern … Continue reading Tindermares
Eating Phallic Food in Public
When I was 12 I had an experience that changed my life. I ate an icy pole on the tram. As I happily licked the delicious lemony goodness off a stick two elderly men sat opposite me with odd looks on their faces. I suddenly felt self-conscious. I looked at my icy pole and then … Continue reading Eating Phallic Food in Public
Things you would never admit to – but have definitely done.
Sometimes it's easy to forget that we are all human. From your manager to your grandmother there are things that most of us do regularly but would never admit to. In an endeavor to bring us all closer, create mutual understanding, and to remind you that deep down we are all just disgusting, I've made … Continue reading Things you would never admit to – but have definitely done.
The Real Meat Injection
While shopping for cat food in Coles I found the following product, Coles Complete Cuisine, Real Meat Injection. It raised a few questions for me... 1. Why would I want to give my cat a Real Meat Injection? This sounds like the kind of offer one receives at a backpacker bar. 2. HIGH "PALATABILITY"- I'm pretty sure palatability isn't a … Continue reading The Real Meat Injection
Lice – The Itchy Truth
Yesterday whilst on Twitter I saw this photo pop up on my feed. It reminded me fondly of year 6 camp, long before the invention of selfies. I hate to tell you people, but the ol' let's put our heads together for a photo has been around a lot longer than the iPhone, in fact, I … Continue reading Lice – The Itchy Truth
The Art of Being Boring
Recently I was at a party, in the middle of a conversation, when I had an epiphany. I was being boring on purpose. It sounds like I'm making an excuse for my shitty party behaviour; alas, this was hardly the situation... It has taken me some time to learn that there are certain people I … Continue reading The Art of Being Boring
Pube Potatoes
Recently I travelled to India. On my last day, I decided that I was going take risks and be adventurous. I saw a man selling fried potatoes on the side of the road. Well, I decided. I'm definitely going to have some of those. They look delicious. I asked the gentleman above if he would … Continue reading Pube Potatoes
Why we are all afraid of being forever alone
It's Friday night and I'm standing in the line at the Fish and Chip shop. It feels about 100 degrees and I am sweltering whilst waiting to order. I'm crowded in by families, couples getting up in each other's personal space and groups of friends gossiping about their week. I have a sweat moustache. Fish … Continue reading Why we are all afraid of being forever alone
Perfect Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
A friends dad told me about the 6 P's just before our final exams. I was 16 going on 17 and thought old people were the worst. Needless to say, the wisdom was lost on me. As it has been, most of my life, hindsight is a massive bitch. 20 minutes into our 4 day … Continue reading Perfect Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
